The chaos and madness is heightening – growing in depth and intensity as it rolls, snowball like, towards me and around me. I am drowning in it. I am buried in stacks of it. I am freefalling through it. My mind is rushing with a hundred thousand thoughts as it plans and dreams and attempts to make sense of things. Life is currently one giant adventure.
Let’s start with the most obvious source of the chaos. I am currently running BC’s oldest and largest independent newspaper – on my own. Usually there’s two of us, and my boss is the genius behind it. She’s taking a month off however, and it has fallen to me to write and edit text, book and create ads and inserts, deal with distribution, update the website, edit photos, process cheques and visas, lay out the paper, proofread the finished product, and ship the whole thing to the press. I have my boss to help me occasionally by email, I can phone one of our writers if I really need help with the text, and my boss’s daughter is going to help with the proofreading – but there is no one in the office but me, day after day. To add to all that, the advertising has suddenly picked up to a speed I haven’t seen since last summer. I am swamped in emails and phone calls, advertising rates and accounting.
Time for the next thing on the list of insanity. I decided that now would be a good time to apply for college. Actually, if I want to start in September, it’s the only time. The deadline is April 30, but – as I’ll explain in the next paragraph – all of April is off limits for me. So what with rushing to write resumes, set up a time to do the entrance exam, and research every news story of the last four months that might come up on the test, I have a lot to do. I’m super excited about the program I’ve found too, and I really do want to get in. It’s a two year journalism program at Langara College. And of course, it costs money. So add researching bursaries, scholarships and student loans to my list.
And then there’s my beautiful travel plans. They are rushing to meet me. Time is ticking and there still remains much to do. I plan to leave April 5th or 6th – in little over a month. I still need to set up a new bank account, and honestly, banking gives me the biggest headache of all headaches. It makes me want to run into the woods and live life as a moneyless hermit. So there’s that. Then there’s my plane tickets, rail pass, and travel insurance to get – which I can’t do until I get my bank account. There is also still plenty of the fun bits of the planning to be had – looking at hostels and deciding where I’m going to go, what I’m going to do, and how I’m going to get there. If I’m ever bored – which, for some weird reason, I’m not – I can always wander around google street view scouting out the beautiful old buildings I want to visit.
On top of all this there is my writing. My sister tore my poor novel to pieces, as I knew she would. I now have to weigh her advice and pick which suggestions to follow and which to discard. I need to do some rethinking, some rewriting and some reconsidering. There is lots to think about.
Other little things that cloud my mind include the looming threat of doing my taxes for the first time – somehow I have to do all that before I go travelling – and the decrepit, falling apart state of my house. I have to figure out what’s going on with my semi-broken composting toilet, bug my landlord to reattach the drainpipe to my sink because it keeps falling off, and keep a watchful eye on my bathtub to make sure it doesn’t fall through the floor and send me and my bathwater to the underworld.
All this means my mind is constantly doing cartwheels. It’s fun and interesting, and super exciting. It’s also damn stressful at times, but I have begun to really like the feeling of having awesome new ideas to plan and undertake. So it’s a little bit of fun, a little bit of adventure, a little bit of stress and a lot of tired. A pretty good mix of chaos, if there ever was one.